Sunday, December 30, 2012

A year for change...

Dear Heather,

I spend the last few months of each year deciding what I've done wrong, how I can do better and evaluate how I even survived those moments of despair throughout the year when I was convinced nothing would ever get any easier. During the time of reflection I am grateful, accepting that I clearly did have a productive year, and spend New Year's Eve winding it down with a bang. Every single year I have a ding dong resolution like losing weight, or doing more volunteer work, and every year it works for a little while and slowly sizzles away. Sound familiar?

These last few months of reflection, the entire year really, I've changed so much toward a person I never saw that I could be. It was change for the good, and gradual and slow so that it didn't freak me out and honestly, I barely noticed it was happening. It all set in during my yearly period of reflection and I have to admit that I'm pleased and not threatened by how I've changed. I've always feared becoming "that mom" or "that wife" or "that friend" so much that I lost myself over the past couple of years. I became who I thought I had to become and essentially ran away from my problems by bullying myself. And in doing so, I became "that person". It's taken me a year but I am confident that my mindset has evolved to a point where I can now move forward in 2013 and for years to come.

I've found a fabulous website called where these two have really got it together. They've graciously shared their advice for practical living for the world and everyone should follow it. I'm going to start following their practical living tips January 1, and I'm going to document it here. One of the challenges is facing fears. So here goes....

Writing is a closet passion of mine. I have tons of books written in my head and I secretly aspire that someone out there will like, no LOVE, what I write. But I'm truly afraid that I would suck at it, and trash that dream every time. It holds me back from doing something I love. So, I'm going to publish my personal journey of growth right here for the world to see. Read it. Like it, or don't.

Welcome, fear.
I'm doing this for me.


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